Last week a first form student came into my office crying. She told me that she had lost her Nanny. The young woman was 23 and died in childbirth along with the baby. Please pray for her: Gloria is the name of the young woman that passed away. A few days later we found out about a former student, Kristy, that died. The students and many teachers (including myself) saw her at a soccer game earlier that day. It was very eerie and it has been a terrible tragedy. Her mother is absolutely beside herself with grief. It is heart-wrenching to hear her mother cry. I did not know Kristy, but many of my students did. At least three of the girls in my music class were very close friends with her. Following her death, there have been other incidents that have occurred due to distress.
There is also another one of my students (that we will just call "C" for now) who lost her grandmother last night. She was completely devastated. Her whole family was outside sobbing and holding each other (they live next door to our house). I am sharing this with all of you so that you can lift up Gloria (and my student "Z"), Kristy and her mother/family and friends, and C and her grandmother in your prayers.
Over the past week or so, I have realized that though it is difficult to be thrown into this suffering with the community, I find love/compassion among the sorrow because I am able to minister to my students even in the pain. All I could think over the weekend after I attended the funeral for Kristy was: I will walk through the darkness with you (my students), holding on to you. I will hold you up, I am not afraid to walk through the pain with you. But we will not walk alone. We are with Mary and Jesus and we are not just walking into an endless darkness. We are walking toward a light and I will keep walking with you until we get there.
I realize one of the greatest beauties of my faith is its depth and its understanding of the suffering of humanity. I have recently felt a great presence of Christ and His mother as they walked through Calvary. I could picture the "Pieta" (Mary holding Christ after He has been taken down from the Cross) as Kristy's mother cried out in the cemetery. In Christianity, we do not run from suffering. Our God does not tell us to buck up and get over it. We are not to drown ourselves in gold and wine and sex in order to numb us to the pain of death and loss and ache. Neither is he apathetic or bubblegum sweet "everything's fine, she's not on earth anymore". Yes, we do find joy in the hope of Heaven, however, Jesus understands the great pain in loss. When Lazarus died Jesus did not say "Mary and Martha, don't worry, he's in heaven." Instead scripture tells us:
"Jesus saw her [Mary] weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched and he was deeply moved. 'Where have you laid him?' he asked.
'Come and see, Lord,' they replied. Jesus wept." (John 11:33-35)
Christ descends into the pain with us. So much so, that He dies, willing to experience the suffering of death and the penalty for sin and evil. His mother is not shielded from this sorrow, but instead stands by Him with a love more loyal and fierce than we can ever imagine, beneath the foot of the cross as she watches her precious Son die. Yet, Christ does not leave us here at the tomb. Ultimately, He does bring us to the light. He does conquer the ugliness of death. He puts evil to shame. He rises from the dead and brings us hope. So Christ holds us in the pain, but He always leads us to hope. Praise God for His beautiful and "scandalous" love (as Dr. Martin says). By "scandalous" Dr. Martin means that God did not wish to come among us in full majesty and cleanliness, devoid of the dirt and grime of life. God choose instead to take on human form and trudge through the struggles and joys of life on earth so to give us a Way to follow. What other God do you know that loves this way?!
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Something that is very interesting about the culture here in Belize is that they mourn with great intensity. It is a stark contrast to the United States' method of privacy and dare I say supression/repression. It can be rather disturbing at first, because the women will openly weep, scream, and sob. However, I quickly realized that this is an extremely healthy way to mourn. They get it all out, they are free to express their sorrow. And they are not alone. The entire community in Benque knows and many come to support each other when someone dies. They keep vigil all night and into the morning. They have the wake at their house and the whole community is invited, many coming throughout the night.A teacher came up to me and expressed her concern for the teenagers here in Benque. She said they that are going through a lot right now and unfortunately, many are looking in the wrong places to escape their struggles. Please pray for the youth of Benque also. We are going to fast tomorrow (Thursday) if you are interested. Being able to unite in this way is very powerful. If not tomorrow, any fast (large or small) would be very appreciated.
God Bless you.
