Farewell

The last day of school was truly bittersweet. It was exciting to be that much closer to my beloved USA but so incredibly hard to say goodbye to these kids. They have honestly "stolen my heart," to borrow a line from Dashboard Confessional. I fell in love with these students over the course of the year and I will never forget them. It was incredible to go through the high's and low's of a year together, celebrating and crying with them. They made me laugh, they brought countless smiles to my face, and as I told them at the last assembly, they were a light in every single one of my days in Belize. I told them that when it was hard for me and I really missed home, they were the lights and joy that kept me going. I already miss them terribly.

On the last day of school, two of my friends that are also volunteer teachers told me to stop by classroom 2H after I purchased my lunch. I instantly grew a little excited because I figured I'd be able to hang out with some of my students and say goodbye to them (the last day is a bit of a frenzy as everyone runs around trying to sign yearbooks and gives hugs). I walked toward classroom 2H. I did not expect what happened when I walked through that door. Almost every single one of my music students was in the classroom and they all clapped and screamed when I walked in (yes, literally screamed). It was amazing! Emotion flooded me and I just kept hugging student after student. IM was bent over screaming on the top of his lungs in three's (he doesn't just scream once, he screams three times) and each time his head would shake and I couldn't stop laughing. Mr. D said to me, "Beth, stop hugging them just for a minute you can do that later. Here have a seat." (Huh?)

All of a sudden they cue something on the computer and all the girls and boys turn towards me. Then one of my students, W, steps forward with a sheet of music and he starts singing a SOLO. They had practiced a song for me!! It was absolutely beautiful. I felt like I was in a movie. I was overwhelmed. They sang "Thank You For the Music" by ABBA. I couldn't believe that they had been practicing this with Miss B and Miss L during the week. It was the best gift I could have received from those music classes! I will always remember that afternoon in 2H. Thank you again to Miss B and Miss L and all of my students who worked to make this so special! Thank you to Mr. D for being present and supportive.

I will continue to update this blog with reflections and adventures from my ten months in Belize (there are plenty more stories!). I will write a little about my transition back into America in my other blog that is located on the side of the page entitled "My other blog". Thank you for all of your support, generosity, prayers, and comments! There were times when it was very difficult and those prayers held me up.

God Bless. Over and out.

The Skinny Jean Fiasco

Your Parents Picketed against Vietnam. We picket for skinny jeans.

One crisis. Two frazzled administrators. Ten confused teachers. Two hundred distraught fifteen-year-old girls. The culprit: skinny jeans.

It was community service day. The sun shone brightly and faces and necks glistened with sweat. It was a day like most others in our beautiful town in Belize. Today students would be displaced throughout the community in order to complete acts of service, anything from cleaning yards to getting prolife-petition signatures. We split into groups with a teacher in charge of each group and prepared to leave the campus in order to execute our mission. As we gathered in the yard, tensions grew at the gate. Why weren't we leaving yet? We were all supposed to be on our various community service routes. We come to find out we are not leaving because the girls in skinny jeans are being examined and placed into two groups. The girls were specifically asked not to wear skinny jeans this day and were now facing the consequences. Miss B., like myself, was growing impatient to begin our service day.

Miss B: Why hasn’t your class left yet?
Mr. M: If your class isn’t going, then my class isn’t going. If your girls won’t work then my boys won’t work. We have to show them that we are serious about this. We have a sit-in so they will give us what we want.

Girls passionately plop onto the grass, justice blazing in their eyes. I can hear echoes in the distance of my mind: We won’t go down without a fight (a fight for trendy jeans?). Second , Third, and Fourth Form girls line up on the streets with jeans of a casual fit, jeans of a snug fit, and jeans in a third category of fit that is simply unable to be defined. Administration points to the “pass” and “fail” lines of skinny-jean acceptability. Young ladies everywhere erupt in disbelief and cry out against those chosen to “pass” and those chosen for the “fail” lines. (Is there such a thing as Calvinist predestination for skinny-jeandom?)

We, the other teachers, look around us in confusion: How much longer is this going to take? The boys classes, on the other hand, don't seem to mind the delay at all. They are stretched out on the field or busy chatting with the girls. The principal is then seen coming out of the building and I run to his side in order to find out a way to taper the tension rising on Mt. Carmel High School grounds.

“Mr. R,” I say, “I think we are losing the letter behind the law here.”
“Yes, yes, Miss Bethany, I agree.”
“Well maybe next time we have a casual day…”
Mr. R’s face grows serious and he looks at me and says, “Miss Bethany, there will not be a next time.”

Alas, casual days have become a rarity at MCHS. There was, though, a fashion show that displayed proper attire for MCHS dress-down-days at one point. The horror that next year’s casual day could bring is unknown to me and perhaps it will become a lost art for community service day. We can only wonder.

4th Form Retreat Pictures!

I finally found some pictures from fourth form retreat. The student that took them said it was okay if I shared them with you.

During an ice-breaker game where we all had to "hit the deck" (fall on the ground) as fast as possible.

Dog pile!

The skit (Christ in the foreground, "Satan in the background", God's children in their struggle on the ground)

The boys playing futbol (soccer) at 5:30am!

Life Starring Me

April 12, 2011


I used to star in my own life. I was the main attraction: my phone would ring, texts coming in, facebooks to check, places to go, and a variety of outfits to choose from. Part of me knew that I would be humbled when I came to Belize but the extent of humility was unknown to me. Suddenly I’m not starring in my life anymore (I didn’t think that was possible?). I then ponder the great question: who is it that is starring in my life now? I think---it is a strange mishmash of students, the volunteers, the religious here, and God. I want my lead role back, but somehow I think God is teaching me through this. The world would tell me to grab the reigns and take it back, but Scripture says to die to self so that Christ can live in you. Is that what He is doing? Is He trying to live in me? It is much easier said than done.


I liked starring in my life. How do I learn to like this emptying? It’s hard. It’s ugly. It’s messy. I gave the Lord my friends when I left. I gave the Lord my family when I left. I gave Him my car, my clothes, my shoes, my nice legs that I didn’t realize were so nice until I got 100 Belizian bug bits on them, my soft feet, any kind of dating life, going out on a regular basis, my cell phone, internet in the house, television, the movie theater, money. I gave Him much…I know he is more present within the quiet, without the distractions, in the sacraments. The sacramental life is beautiful here. Yet, all of this purifying is painful. But I can’t forget their beautiful faces: the students. I get caught up in my own discomfort and lose the beauty in their presence. I can not forget the sweet smile from fresh-mouth, but hilarious and adorable, J when he got up and crossed over the basketball court just to say hi. I can not forget C and her “I love you’s!” or W and his “you’re my second favorite teacher, Miss!” I can not forget H (A-Rod) and his bracelet and his surprisingly goofy side (and his hilarious mumbling). I must remember the joy and laughter of the fourth formers as they dog piled us at the retreat and M doing an impression of Mr. JM (I cringed, laughed, and screamed to myself as it was occurring).


How can I forget RM and R trying to flirt with me, thinking it will help their grade or worse, just for fun? What about the weekend with JB, K, V, R, and J? It was perfect. I must daily keep in mind the cutie-first -form girls that say hello everyday or laugh at me when I scream because I saw a cockroach. I love it when the students come to talk: when D comes to my office or J sits down because she got kicked out of class yet again. I love saying hello to M every night when I pass his house or when he’s on his bike and all his tattoos are showing. I loved every second of being with those boys on the softball field: of laughing and rejoicing with them. Here, in my memory, lay the precious tears that were in some of the boys’ eyes after the teachers yelled at the first form boys or when we lost a game in the tournament. B with the catcher’s gear and D running in between the bases with his hand on his over-sized helmet during a game because he was confused. Most importantly: how can any of us forget G in his ladies basketball shorts that were so short he called them “boxers” when he went up to the plate and had on white ankle socks and black shiny shoes? Impossible. How I so easily forget to hold these things before me.


I will try and have tried to keep these lights in my heart as I finish up my last few weeks here at Mt. Carmel. It is a challenge to give up the leading role in my life but I think God is on to something here...

Holy Week

Holy Week in Benque is like nothing you could possibly imagine. I'm not even sure if I can write about it at this moment, but I would like to share some pictures from the processions and events.

Palm Sunday

S.O.L.T. candidates and volunteer teachers dressed up as disciples for the procession

Jesus riding in on a (real) donkey

Good Friday Passion Play

Another volunteer teacher and I played weeping women

A volunteer teacher played St. John and another volunteer teacher played Mary Magdalene. Jesus and Mary were played by fourth form students.

They raise Jesus up on on a wooden cross (the ropes were used to raise him)...it was incredible.

Rugs made from sawdust for Good Friday
(You will see them throughout the streets of the town. The people work on them for many hours.)

They are stunning. The rugs are kept on the street all of Good Friday and then those in the procession walk over the rugs in the evening.

Retreat Part II

Saturday

On Saturday, we woke up around 6:45am and prayed the rosary. Mind you, I woke up around 6am to the sounds of kids running around outside playing soccer and I wondered how they had the energy to get up, much less play soccer! Soon after, we had Mass and Father J gave a beautiful homily. We ate breakfast and then got into a huge circle around the room for a chance at student testimonies or witnesses (in order to share about their experience on retreat). I wasn't sure how this would go over but I really felt the need to have this even if only a couple of kids shared.

The retreats that were significant in my life almost always included a witness time at the end of the weekend where teens could go up and share about the retreat or their lives. I asked them to share their favorite part of retreat and much to my surprise, every single student except one spoke! Even the "tough guys" would share a moment or crack a joke. It was truly moving. It was awesome for me to hear as well because it shows what an opportunity a retreat is and it was a huge blessing to know that the students were able to get a lot out of it.

Finally, H came in and gave his own witness talk (his life as a kid, teenager, and his conversion). It was an amazing story and then he performed a rap that he had written and it was awesome. The kids were into it and one kid practically ran up to him after to talk to him about some of the stuff he could relate to in his testimony and song.

Praise God for a fantastic retreat!

Fruit

More detail about fourth form retreat:

Update - The fourth formers went up to Dave (their religion teacher) and asked him to do another retreat because they liked the first one so much (!) They told me on my way into the rectory that they wanted another retreat also and I told them that they should have one but that I was retired haha It was beautiful to hear that they enjoyed it enough to want another one---we don't always get to see the fruits from the work we do here, so that was a big blessing.

This was the general outline for the retreat:

Theme
"You Shall Be My Witnesses"

-Morning -

• School Mass

• Walk to the retreat area while praying the rosary (about 10 people prayed the rest talked)Ice Breaker - Screaming Ninnies Tag and Lighthouse

• Teacher Impressions - (the kids did hilarious impressions of their teachers)

• Intro Talk (I talked about acting as a witness to Christ)

• Small Groups - Come up name for group and make a sign, discuss first talk. My group was great. They were very open and very interested in living out the faith in their lives. They talked about witnesses in their own lives and most of them talked about their mother or father who had inspired them in the faith. Our group name was "The Maniacs"

- Afternoon -

• Lunch (They gave us meat on a Friday! Ah!)
• Parable Activity- Each small group was given a parable or story from the Bible and had to act it out in silence for 3-5minutes (These ended up being amazing, creative, and hilarious)
• Talk on witnessing to Christ through the vocation of Marriage (Mr. D)
  
• Talk on witnessing to Christ through Religious life (A Sister and brother gave these talks)
• Desert Time/ Free Time: Students had time to be on their own and pray or if they wanted they could spend time with each other. (I prayed a little and then took a nap)
• Sports/Free Time
• Dinner Time (They brought fish this time--thank goodness)

-Evening-

• Night Game: Trigger (Three people act out a scene and each person is given a "trigger" that makes them react a certain way. Each person knows his/her trigger but does not know the other two actors' triggers and they all have to figure out what sets off each person and their reactions. It sounds confusing but once you start playing it works out well. This was a blast. At one point we had a teacher as a farmer, a student as a chicken, and another teacher as a cow...you can only imagine)
• Fr. M came and gave a talk about his conversion and then spoke about spiritual warfare which led perfectly into the...
• Skit! This was one of my favorite parts of retreat. This was very intense and we almost backed out of it several times but I knew it would be powerful. We practiced a few times a week for about two weeks after school as exhausted teachers but it was sooo worth it. We had a Jesus, Satan, and three people. I tried playing Jesus but it was so straining after just one day that I had to give it to someone else. Luckily, T, is a fantastic actor so he played the part excellently. It was all acted out in silence to a song.
  

Jesus creates the three people (bringing the women from the man's rib) and gives them breath and they beat their hearts. Then he creates a tree and they look at it, he creates rain and then gives them water to drink, and finally he creates a bird and they all look at it and smile, amazed. Next, Satan comes in and sits down tempting the girl to come over to his table (he was dressed in suit in order to be somewhat 'appealing' as sin often is). He temps the first girl with alcohol and when she finally gives in he puppeteers her actions. It is rather creepy, yet gets the point across well.

He then moves onto the next girl who he then gets to take a drink from the first girl (how sin affects others/peer pressure) and then gets her restless about her appearance (vanity). Finally, he heads over to the guy and tempts him with pornography. Meanwhile, Jesus is here the whole time trying to get their attention but they keep shoving Him aside. The guy's girlfriend comes in and sees him with a magazine and gets upset. He shoves Jesus out the door and shuts the door (we shut Jesus out). He then goes after her as if he wants to be physical with her (sin brings us into deeper sin if we don't get rid of it/work on it) and she pushes him (sin affects others). Satan then goes back to the first girl and brings her deeper into her sin by tempting her with drugs. He goes to the last girl (vanity) and keeps bugging her about her appearance until she freaks out and smashes the mirror in her hands (here the music gets loud).

All three people start freaking out to the music and Jesus kicks in the door with the Cross on his back. As the three people are being tormented by Satan (he brings them up, up, then they fall down), Jesus is walking with the cross on his back in front of them. All the while Satan is watching this and is getting nervous and weak. Finally Jesus falls and everyone falls with him except Satan. He is watching with a tired and haggard appearance as Jesus then takes the magazine and puts it as His feet (the nails in his feet) and Satan falls on one knee at the same time. Jesus then takes the bottle (alcohol/drugs) and puts one arm up like he is crucified on that side (Satan falls so he is on two knees at same time). Finally, Jesus takes the broken mirror and holds it in the other hand and Satan falls to the ground, defeated. Jesus stays in the crucified position for about five or so seconds and then comes down and picks up each person and "dusts" them off and brings them out of the room as Satan lies defeated on the ground. It was SO powerful. It was absolutely silent in that room after it was over...you could have heard a pin drop. This led directly into adoration.

Adoration - The Holy Eucharist was exposed in the monstrance and we sang a few songs. There was a great overwhelming peace that came over me at this point in the retreat. Next, the students received letters from all of their classmates, some of their teachers, and some received them from their parents. The letters encouraged each other and expressed affection and support. The kids were crying for the next hour or so. There were "tough" guys that had given me attitude the whole day that were crying in adoration and after receiving these letters. It was beautiful.

To be continued...