Farewell

The last day of school was truly bittersweet. It was exciting to be that much closer to my beloved USA but so incredibly hard to say goodbye to these kids. They have honestly "stolen my heart," to borrow a line from Dashboard Confessional. I fell in love with these students over the course of the year and I will never forget them. It was incredible to go through the high's and low's of a year together, celebrating and crying with them. They made me laugh, they brought countless smiles to my face, and as I told them at the last assembly, they were a light in every single one of my days in Belize. I told them that when it was hard for me and I really missed home, they were the lights and joy that kept me going. I already miss them terribly.

On the last day of school, two of my friends that are also volunteer teachers told me to stop by classroom 2H after I purchased my lunch. I instantly grew a little excited because I figured I'd be able to hang out with some of my students and say goodbye to them (the last day is a bit of a frenzy as everyone runs around trying to sign yearbooks and gives hugs). I walked toward classroom 2H. I did not expect what happened when I walked through that door. Almost every single one of my music students was in the classroom and they all clapped and screamed when I walked in (yes, literally screamed). It was amazing! Emotion flooded me and I just kept hugging student after student. IM was bent over screaming on the top of his lungs in three's (he doesn't just scream once, he screams three times) and each time his head would shake and I couldn't stop laughing. Mr. D said to me, "Beth, stop hugging them just for a minute you can do that later. Here have a seat." (Huh?)

All of a sudden they cue something on the computer and all the girls and boys turn towards me. Then one of my students, W, steps forward with a sheet of music and he starts singing a SOLO. They had practiced a song for me!! It was absolutely beautiful. I felt like I was in a movie. I was overwhelmed. They sang "Thank You For the Music" by ABBA. I couldn't believe that they had been practicing this with Miss B and Miss L during the week. It was the best gift I could have received from those music classes! I will always remember that afternoon in 2H. Thank you again to Miss B and Miss L and all of my students who worked to make this so special! Thank you to Mr. D for being present and supportive.

I will continue to update this blog with reflections and adventures from my ten months in Belize (there are plenty more stories!). I will write a little about my transition back into America in my other blog that is located on the side of the page entitled "My other blog". Thank you for all of your support, generosity, prayers, and comments! There were times when it was very difficult and those prayers held me up.

God Bless. Over and out.

The Skinny Jean Fiasco

Your Parents Picketed against Vietnam. We picket for skinny jeans.

One crisis. Two frazzled administrators. Ten confused teachers. Two hundred distraught fifteen-year-old girls. The culprit: skinny jeans.

It was community service day. The sun shone brightly and faces and necks glistened with sweat. It was a day like most others in our beautiful town in Belize. Today students would be displaced throughout the community in order to complete acts of service, anything from cleaning yards to getting prolife-petition signatures. We split into groups with a teacher in charge of each group and prepared to leave the campus in order to execute our mission. As we gathered in the yard, tensions grew at the gate. Why weren't we leaving yet? We were all supposed to be on our various community service routes. We come to find out we are not leaving because the girls in skinny jeans are being examined and placed into two groups. The girls were specifically asked not to wear skinny jeans this day and were now facing the consequences. Miss B., like myself, was growing impatient to begin our service day.

Miss B: Why hasn’t your class left yet?
Mr. M: If your class isn’t going, then my class isn’t going. If your girls won’t work then my boys won’t work. We have to show them that we are serious about this. We have a sit-in so they will give us what we want.

Girls passionately plop onto the grass, justice blazing in their eyes. I can hear echoes in the distance of my mind: We won’t go down without a fight (a fight for trendy jeans?). Second , Third, and Fourth Form girls line up on the streets with jeans of a casual fit, jeans of a snug fit, and jeans in a third category of fit that is simply unable to be defined. Administration points to the “pass” and “fail” lines of skinny-jean acceptability. Young ladies everywhere erupt in disbelief and cry out against those chosen to “pass” and those chosen for the “fail” lines. (Is there such a thing as Calvinist predestination for skinny-jeandom?)

We, the other teachers, look around us in confusion: How much longer is this going to take? The boys classes, on the other hand, don't seem to mind the delay at all. They are stretched out on the field or busy chatting with the girls. The principal is then seen coming out of the building and I run to his side in order to find out a way to taper the tension rising on Mt. Carmel High School grounds.

“Mr. R,” I say, “I think we are losing the letter behind the law here.”
“Yes, yes, Miss Bethany, I agree.”
“Well maybe next time we have a casual day…”
Mr. R’s face grows serious and he looks at me and says, “Miss Bethany, there will not be a next time.”

Alas, casual days have become a rarity at MCHS. There was, though, a fashion show that displayed proper attire for MCHS dress-down-days at one point. The horror that next year’s casual day could bring is unknown to me and perhaps it will become a lost art for community service day. We can only wonder.

4th Form Retreat Pictures!

I finally found some pictures from fourth form retreat. The student that took them said it was okay if I shared them with you.

During an ice-breaker game where we all had to "hit the deck" (fall on the ground) as fast as possible.

Dog pile!

The skit (Christ in the foreground, "Satan in the background", God's children in their struggle on the ground)

The boys playing futbol (soccer) at 5:30am!

Life Starring Me

April 12, 2011


I used to star in my own life. I was the main attraction: my phone would ring, texts coming in, facebooks to check, places to go, and a variety of outfits to choose from. Part of me knew that I would be humbled when I came to Belize but the extent of humility was unknown to me. Suddenly I’m not starring in my life anymore (I didn’t think that was possible?). I then ponder the great question: who is it that is starring in my life now? I think---it is a strange mishmash of students, the volunteers, the religious here, and God. I want my lead role back, but somehow I think God is teaching me through this. The world would tell me to grab the reigns and take it back, but Scripture says to die to self so that Christ can live in you. Is that what He is doing? Is He trying to live in me? It is much easier said than done.


I liked starring in my life. How do I learn to like this emptying? It’s hard. It’s ugly. It’s messy. I gave the Lord my friends when I left. I gave the Lord my family when I left. I gave Him my car, my clothes, my shoes, my nice legs that I didn’t realize were so nice until I got 100 Belizian bug bits on them, my soft feet, any kind of dating life, going out on a regular basis, my cell phone, internet in the house, television, the movie theater, money. I gave Him much…I know he is more present within the quiet, without the distractions, in the sacraments. The sacramental life is beautiful here. Yet, all of this purifying is painful. But I can’t forget their beautiful faces: the students. I get caught up in my own discomfort and lose the beauty in their presence. I can not forget the sweet smile from fresh-mouth, but hilarious and adorable, J when he got up and crossed over the basketball court just to say hi. I can not forget C and her “I love you’s!” or W and his “you’re my second favorite teacher, Miss!” I can not forget H (A-Rod) and his bracelet and his surprisingly goofy side (and his hilarious mumbling). I must remember the joy and laughter of the fourth formers as they dog piled us at the retreat and M doing an impression of Mr. JM (I cringed, laughed, and screamed to myself as it was occurring).


How can I forget RM and R trying to flirt with me, thinking it will help their grade or worse, just for fun? What about the weekend with JB, K, V, R, and J? It was perfect. I must daily keep in mind the cutie-first -form girls that say hello everyday or laugh at me when I scream because I saw a cockroach. I love it when the students come to talk: when D comes to my office or J sits down because she got kicked out of class yet again. I love saying hello to M every night when I pass his house or when he’s on his bike and all his tattoos are showing. I loved every second of being with those boys on the softball field: of laughing and rejoicing with them. Here, in my memory, lay the precious tears that were in some of the boys’ eyes after the teachers yelled at the first form boys or when we lost a game in the tournament. B with the catcher’s gear and D running in between the bases with his hand on his over-sized helmet during a game because he was confused. Most importantly: how can any of us forget G in his ladies basketball shorts that were so short he called them “boxers” when he went up to the plate and had on white ankle socks and black shiny shoes? Impossible. How I so easily forget to hold these things before me.


I will try and have tried to keep these lights in my heart as I finish up my last few weeks here at Mt. Carmel. It is a challenge to give up the leading role in my life but I think God is on to something here...

Holy Week

Holy Week in Benque is like nothing you could possibly imagine. I'm not even sure if I can write about it at this moment, but I would like to share some pictures from the processions and events.

Palm Sunday

S.O.L.T. candidates and volunteer teachers dressed up as disciples for the procession

Jesus riding in on a (real) donkey

Good Friday Passion Play

Another volunteer teacher and I played weeping women

A volunteer teacher played St. John and another volunteer teacher played Mary Magdalene. Jesus and Mary were played by fourth form students.

They raise Jesus up on on a wooden cross (the ropes were used to raise him)...it was incredible.

Rugs made from sawdust for Good Friday
(You will see them throughout the streets of the town. The people work on them for many hours.)

They are stunning. The rugs are kept on the street all of Good Friday and then those in the procession walk over the rugs in the evening.

Retreat Part II

Saturday

On Saturday, we woke up around 6:45am and prayed the rosary. Mind you, I woke up around 6am to the sounds of kids running around outside playing soccer and I wondered how they had the energy to get up, much less play soccer! Soon after, we had Mass and Father J gave a beautiful homily. We ate breakfast and then got into a huge circle around the room for a chance at student testimonies or witnesses (in order to share about their experience on retreat). I wasn't sure how this would go over but I really felt the need to have this even if only a couple of kids shared.

The retreats that were significant in my life almost always included a witness time at the end of the weekend where teens could go up and share about the retreat or their lives. I asked them to share their favorite part of retreat and much to my surprise, every single student except one spoke! Even the "tough guys" would share a moment or crack a joke. It was truly moving. It was awesome for me to hear as well because it shows what an opportunity a retreat is and it was a huge blessing to know that the students were able to get a lot out of it.

Finally, H came in and gave his own witness talk (his life as a kid, teenager, and his conversion). It was an amazing story and then he performed a rap that he had written and it was awesome. The kids were into it and one kid practically ran up to him after to talk to him about some of the stuff he could relate to in his testimony and song.

Praise God for a fantastic retreat!

Fruit

More detail about fourth form retreat:

Update - The fourth formers went up to Dave (their religion teacher) and asked him to do another retreat because they liked the first one so much (!) They told me on my way into the rectory that they wanted another retreat also and I told them that they should have one but that I was retired haha It was beautiful to hear that they enjoyed it enough to want another one---we don't always get to see the fruits from the work we do here, so that was a big blessing.

This was the general outline for the retreat:

Theme
"You Shall Be My Witnesses"

-Morning -

• School Mass

• Walk to the retreat area while praying the rosary (about 10 people prayed the rest talked)Ice Breaker - Screaming Ninnies Tag and Lighthouse

• Teacher Impressions - (the kids did hilarious impressions of their teachers)

• Intro Talk (I talked about acting as a witness to Christ)

• Small Groups - Come up name for group and make a sign, discuss first talk. My group was great. They were very open and very interested in living out the faith in their lives. They talked about witnesses in their own lives and most of them talked about their mother or father who had inspired them in the faith. Our group name was "The Maniacs"

- Afternoon -

• Lunch (They gave us meat on a Friday! Ah!)
• Parable Activity- Each small group was given a parable or story from the Bible and had to act it out in silence for 3-5minutes (These ended up being amazing, creative, and hilarious)
• Talk on witnessing to Christ through the vocation of Marriage (Mr. D)
  
• Talk on witnessing to Christ through Religious life (A Sister and brother gave these talks)
• Desert Time/ Free Time: Students had time to be on their own and pray or if they wanted they could spend time with each other. (I prayed a little and then took a nap)
• Sports/Free Time
• Dinner Time (They brought fish this time--thank goodness)

-Evening-

• Night Game: Trigger (Three people act out a scene and each person is given a "trigger" that makes them react a certain way. Each person knows his/her trigger but does not know the other two actors' triggers and they all have to figure out what sets off each person and their reactions. It sounds confusing but once you start playing it works out well. This was a blast. At one point we had a teacher as a farmer, a student as a chicken, and another teacher as a cow...you can only imagine)
• Fr. M came and gave a talk about his conversion and then spoke about spiritual warfare which led perfectly into the...
• Skit! This was one of my favorite parts of retreat. This was very intense and we almost backed out of it several times but I knew it would be powerful. We practiced a few times a week for about two weeks after school as exhausted teachers but it was sooo worth it. We had a Jesus, Satan, and three people. I tried playing Jesus but it was so straining after just one day that I had to give it to someone else. Luckily, T, is a fantastic actor so he played the part excellently. It was all acted out in silence to a song.
  

Jesus creates the three people (bringing the women from the man's rib) and gives them breath and they beat their hearts. Then he creates a tree and they look at it, he creates rain and then gives them water to drink, and finally he creates a bird and they all look at it and smile, amazed. Next, Satan comes in and sits down tempting the girl to come over to his table (he was dressed in suit in order to be somewhat 'appealing' as sin often is). He temps the first girl with alcohol and when she finally gives in he puppeteers her actions. It is rather creepy, yet gets the point across well.

He then moves onto the next girl who he then gets to take a drink from the first girl (how sin affects others/peer pressure) and then gets her restless about her appearance (vanity). Finally, he heads over to the guy and tempts him with pornography. Meanwhile, Jesus is here the whole time trying to get their attention but they keep shoving Him aside. The guy's girlfriend comes in and sees him with a magazine and gets upset. He shoves Jesus out the door and shuts the door (we shut Jesus out). He then goes after her as if he wants to be physical with her (sin brings us into deeper sin if we don't get rid of it/work on it) and she pushes him (sin affects others). Satan then goes back to the first girl and brings her deeper into her sin by tempting her with drugs. He goes to the last girl (vanity) and keeps bugging her about her appearance until she freaks out and smashes the mirror in her hands (here the music gets loud).

All three people start freaking out to the music and Jesus kicks in the door with the Cross on his back. As the three people are being tormented by Satan (he brings them up, up, then they fall down), Jesus is walking with the cross on his back in front of them. All the while Satan is watching this and is getting nervous and weak. Finally Jesus falls and everyone falls with him except Satan. He is watching with a tired and haggard appearance as Jesus then takes the magazine and puts it as His feet (the nails in his feet) and Satan falls on one knee at the same time. Jesus then takes the bottle (alcohol/drugs) and puts one arm up like he is crucified on that side (Satan falls so he is on two knees at same time). Finally, Jesus takes the broken mirror and holds it in the other hand and Satan falls to the ground, defeated. Jesus stays in the crucified position for about five or so seconds and then comes down and picks up each person and "dusts" them off and brings them out of the room as Satan lies defeated on the ground. It was SO powerful. It was absolutely silent in that room after it was over...you could have heard a pin drop. This led directly into adoration.

Adoration - The Holy Eucharist was exposed in the monstrance and we sang a few songs. There was a great overwhelming peace that came over me at this point in the retreat. Next, the students received letters from all of their classmates, some of their teachers, and some received them from their parents. The letters encouraged each other and expressed affection and support. The kids were crying for the next hour or so. There were "tough" guys that had given me attitude the whole day that were crying in adoration and after receiving these letters. It was beautiful.

To be continued...

A Final Retreat

The retreat was AMAZING. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for praying so hard for this one. It really moved all of the kids...even some of the boys that you wouldn't expect. The students were grateful and were thanking me at the end of it, which was a beautiful "extra". God worked intensely on Friday and Saturday and it was beautiful to be a part of it. Thank you again.

The misfit life of a missionary

"She will be introduced to the misfit life of a missionary." -Fr. M

Fr. M stated this after N, a girl visiting for the week, set out on her first day of volunteer work this morning. I thought it was the perfect definition for life as a volunteer in Benque.

It has been insanely busy for the past week and a half. I think I have turned into a cartoon character whose hair sticks on end and looks slightly twitchy. Although, I must say yesterday's day of rest was truly Heaven sent and has brought me back down to a cartoon character with normal hair and only a slightly crazed look.

Franciscan University came last week during their Spring break for a mission trip. They were wonderful and I spent a lot of time with them making sure that their stay was smooth and walked them through their schedule and a big youth night they had at the end of the week.

Most importantly, there is a fourth form retreat coming up that has been wild to plan. There have been cheers, frowns, gasps, support, opposition, excitement, smiles, and anything you could imagine. Basically, I need your prayers. The retreat is April 8th and 9th out here in Belize. I am basically in charge of it with a crew of other people---we are planning something very special but there has been a lot of resistance and headache in the process. Please pray hard for these amazing teenagers about to graduate. They may never go on another retreat in their lives and we want to leave them with something powerful. In order for a retreat to be truly amazing it always needs to rest on many prayers---that is why I'm asking you to please pray that this retreat reaches each heart that is there. Ask that it run smoothly, safely, and beautifully.

Thank you so much!

Takes the Silver

Second place! It was a fantastic tournament. We won our first game with a small struggle and went on to play in the finals against the national champions from last year. These guys were huge...there was one player that had to have been close to seven feet. They were great players and we struggled against their pitcher (who threw a mean fastball---especially for softball) but we were able to get a few hits by the end.

Some highlights from the last game:

One player, D, was on second and went to run to third then turned back to second, seeing that third base had the ball. Well he's heading back to second but the guy had left second base and now two of our players were side-by-side on the third base line and we were yelling, "RUN! RUN! Run! Go back! No not you! AhhhHhh!" But then we couldn't stop laughing because it was so ridiculous. Our players are not used to the rules of baseball/softball and it obviously proved to be a weak spot but it was so incredibly funny. D finally runs to third base, his helmet flopping around on his head. He slides into third and stands up, dusting dirt off of himself and looking up (the helmet was hanging over his eyes) with his goofy smile saying, "Am I safe?" (He was out).

G went up after sitting on the bench for many a game. He's taller and a little bigger than the other guys (most Belizian men/young men are rather small) and his shorts were a bit short. He laughs and says, "My boxers, Miss!" He went up to the plate and just laughed to himself and had a great grin on his face. I was so proud of him for hitting a foul off of the crazy, fast-pitcher!

A fabulous pop fly was hit into the outfield and our left fielder and center fielder ran backwards towards it. There was a strange field in the back part of the outfield and if the ball went in there, it was a fair ball and the players had to find the ball. A player could get a homerun because the outfielders might not be able to find the ball in the tall grass (!). Needless to say, we encouraged our guys to go after the ball as hard and fast as possible so we wouldn't lose the ball. So R and D are running out after it and BANG(!!), they collided with legs and arms in the air and at angles. It was a movie-collision.

JC went up to bat (he has been frustrated that he hasn't played much) and has a great hit off of the pitcher all our best players had great trouble with. He was so proud. He said to me on the bus, "Miss, you need to write about that on the internet." I told him I would write it on my blog.

We came in second place and I've never been so happy to come in second place before. It was as if we won a national tournament. We were running and yelling and showing off our medals. It was a moment I will never forget. Coach Brynne and I ran around the bases laughing and skipping because our kids got a trophy and medals (we even got some!). What a day to remember! :)

Music Teacher Happiness

I was quite a bit worried this morning about a.) playing the piano and leading my music students in Mass and b.) the students singing loud enough. Turns out, they sounded absolutely beautiful! (No major piano mishaps either). I was so proud of them. Mr. Jose (guitar player/singer/teacher) even added a great guitar rhythm in for the closing hymn and I totally had a "music moment" where I was truly touched. I could not have been more proud of them! I had a rough class with the boys on Tuesday "Miss, this is booooring" (we were doing music theory) but a great class with the girls (that picked me back up again). Then I found at the day before that we were actually singing this week (I thought we were singing next week or later). Plus, the music system is not the best at school so at times it seems like a gamble: Is the piano too loud? (usually it is) Can we hear the students? Are they on key? Do they even have their hymn books? This time I came prepared. Half (or more) did not have their hymn books but I printed out lyrics ahead of time just in case. But it all worked out---praise God!

I would also like to ask for some prayers. A young girl in the Benque community is currently in the hospital in a coma---she needs a lot of prayer, as does her family. I would also like to ask for prayers for "Student Y". He is going through a very difficult time right now and could use all the prayers he can get! Thank you again for all of your support, generosity, care, and prayers. It is such a blessing to be here and to be able to "pour out" to this community and to these kids. They are amazing and a true light to my life. I could not have gotten here without your help. I will be praying for all of you on Mondays!

God Bless.

I think I'm in Love...

...with seventeen 1st, 2nd, and 3rd form boys! Let me explain.

We recently started softball season out here. Practices began about two or three weeks ago, with anywhere from 7 to 18 kids showing up. We've been throwing softballs around and hitting in the small field that sits in the center of our campus. The softballs gracefully BANG(!) onto the tin roofs of the food-processing room and the bio lab a well as the basketball court. It's a miracle we have not taken out a student leaving school. It honestly reminds me of the sandlot, some of us playing in bare feet and tripping on the grass (a kid was even wearing converse sneakers the other day). Miss Brynne is head coach and Mr. Mike W., Mr. Mike D., and I are assistant
coaches. The first few days of practice, we were wincing as softballs dropped from gloves every three seconds. Some of these students had no idea about the game of baseball/softball. We worked them on the field after school and tried to get kids to throw double plays and "turn and go!" in the outfield. The outfield was terrifying. (These guys have come a long way!)

Slowly but surely, we found players that fit in the various positions and we began having them work on batting. The softball season here is a tad bit short: two games to be exact. This is because there are not many schools that play softball/baseball. Last week we had our first game against "Mopan" who beats us at every sport. They come out with spiffy new uniforms and the knowledge of Mount Carmel High School being the high school that has literally lost every game we've played this year. We run out in our donated uniforms ("Miss! Why does it say "Ladies Medium" on this tag?" Woops. Thought they wouldn't notice) and start throwing balls around.

We were down by four in the first inning. Great. It's over. The kids at MCHS are so used to losing that they will root for the other team or ask at a game, "Are we losing?". Okay, it's not over yet we have plenty of innings. Before we know it, we catch up and end up winning 8-4! Our first MCHS sports win of the year! I ran out and just about knocked over the left-fielder out of excitement. It was an amazing feeling! We coaches wondered if we were more excited than the students!

The second game (and the game that could be our ticket to regionals) was yesterday afternoon. We played at a tournament this weekend and did surprisingly well with two wins and one loss and two homeruns as well as a blowout game 11-1! The boys were so excited. They just kept on hitting...everytime I looked up the ball was a line-drive into the outfield. Then it started pouring and we were soaked. Next thing I knew we were trying to climb over a little stream to get to our lunch and Brynne and I were falling all over ourselves into the mud. The tournament ended up getting postponed due to weather. (We were at the top of the tournament when we last checked but not every team was able to play as many games as us...so we will see).


Yesterday afternoon, we beat Mopan again 14-9. It was a glorious win and a fantastic feeling to be going to regionals! The boys got the fabulous idea of spraying everyone with water after we won so we were all wet (this seems to be a trend). Regionals are this weekend---wish us luck and say a prayer! (Still not sure if God helps teams win sports but it's worth a shot haha)

It's an amazing thing to see these guys grow as a team and in their friendships. They are a joy to get to know---each one with their own distinct personality. They are all so different but each one brings a light to my life out here in Belize. They are young enough that they still think Brynne and I are "cool" and they are like our little brothers: it is one of the greatest gifts I have received in my time in Belize. I am very grateful for each one of them.


Brynne: Who would have guessed that Mt. Carmel's only win would be in softball?
1st form player: God knew, Miss...God knew.

Thank you, Enrique Iglesias

After watching a few episodes of Glee (which, by the way, I do not necessarily recommend watching), I was inspired to give music class a face-lift. This meant getting slightly creative. So with the help of a fellow teacher, we picked out some songs that the kids might like doing. There is a very popular song out here by Enrique Iglesias called "Cuando me enamoro". It's a very fun, bachata-style song with a relatively relaxed tempo. Well, these boys were practically model singing students on Tuesday (Gasp! I know). I gave a few of them solos and had some of them pair up to sing the verses and they were fantastic. They still need some work (they sing too softly because they are nervous) but it was a wonderful break from the pulling-of-teeth that I face half of the time. My only concern is finding more songs that are this much of a hit with them. I gave out no "Jugs" (detentions) and did not send anyone out of the room. A miracle indeed!

Next, I had the girls. A few students and I have been working on "Take a Bow" and it went over okay. Problem is, the girls have now been taking the attitudinal-wand within the past few weeks. A good amount of them were singing and did a great job but then of course there is always the bunch that just has to talk and chatter or worse, whine. "Ayyyy, Miss!" You would think they would be grateful to have a new song because we have been working on hymns for the past few weeks. One girl literally said to me at the end of class (whining):
"But I don't know it, miss."
"Well, that is part of music class. It's about learning new songs."
"You can't force me to learn it."
Ugh. And this is a student that is usually pretty good in class. To top it off, the girl who had been chatting on and off all class decided to pass candy right in front of me. This is what happened:
"I see your candy. " (Here I stick out my hand for it)
"Miss, it's an...eraser."
"Right. Hand it over."
"It's an eraser!"
"It's not an eraser, I saw it."
Pause.
(Hand still sticking out)
Finally she hands it over. I look at it.
"Do we lie at Mt. Carmel high School?"
No's are heard along with yes's (really, people?).
I'm holding the red square in my hand trying to figure out what I'm going to do with it. I am definitely not giving it back to her. I don't have a pocket. So I did what any right-minded-volunteer-teacher-from-America-that-isn't-always-as-mean-in-class-as-she-should-be would do, I took off the wrapper and ate it. I ate it right there in front of them. As I stuck it in my mouth, I hoped that it really was candy and not an eraser.
The girls burst out:
"Oh my gosh, Miss!!"
Laughter heard everywhere.
"Good for you, Miss."
"Ahhhhh!!"

If you are wondering, it was gum and it was rather tasty.
:)

A treasure

Liturgy prep is a treasure of Benque life. I love it. Every Saturday morning, a group of S.O.L.T. candidates, priests, sister, some volunteers, and some students meet in the convent after morning Mass and we enjoy delicious breakfast and reflect on Scripture. We look at the readings from the next Sunday Mass and reflect and then share. It is similar to a Bible study. It is simple, yet I have found that it is one of the greatest treasures in my volunteer life out here.

There is something so moving and consoling about reflecting upon Scripture. I love that everyone has their own personal touch to their reflection and often remind or inspire me of things I may never have thought of. It is a flame to my mission "fire" that at times grows dim by the end of a week.

Praise God for Liturgy prep!

Words of Inspiration

"I have the body of a cheetah and an engine like a Ferrari. No one can stop me miss, no one can stop me."

-1st form student

Call me Grace

Every time I attempt to tell myself, "Beth, you are not that clutsy," I am pleasantly surprised.

A few days ago after wishing a third form class a good day, I turned right around and walked into a fan. Obviously I added a bow in at the end to save what little pride I had left. Usually following these situations, I begin to remind myself that this doesn't happen that often and that I haven't tripped that much in the streets of Benque and that this is the first fan I've walked into since teaching out here.

One day later: One of my students was cleaning the chapel for a detention and I was going in to bring the chairs I left in there back into my office. I picked up the nice, wooden chair and as I lifted it, the top ricocheted off the wall and rammed right into my face. Yes, into my face. Ow. I don't really remember what my student did...I think he just kind of stared and said "Are you okay?" I scuttled out of the room with my hand clutched to my head saying, "Yes, yes."

Sigh.

There is nothing like...

There is nothing like playing softball on a sunny afternoon. Now I can say: there is nothing like playing softball with my students in Belize on a sunny afternoon! I am helping coach the boy's softball team and I don't know what it is about it, but I am just loving playing with them! I am getting a taste of what my coaches must have felt like teaching us the sport all those years. I did not realize how much I knew about softball until I went out there and tried to help them. I love connecting with them outside of the classroom in this way and being able to support them and the school. It is probably the sport we are most likely to excel in (we are a bit of an "underdog" school in sports, if you will) so we are going to try our best. We still have a long way to go but it is great to get to know these kids better and help them with their fielding and batting. Our first game is in a couple of weeks so we need to teach them rules, running, tagging, stealing, catching, etc. It is always an adventure in Benque :)

The Suffering Christ

It has been a rough couple of weeks. Student and school wise, things have been going well. However, there has been a lot of suffering around Benque for the past week and a half.

Last week a first form student came into my office crying. She told me that she had lost her Nanny. The young woman was 23 and died in childbirth along with the baby. Please pray for her: Gloria is the name of the young woman that passed away. A few days later we found out about a former student, Kristy, that died. The students and many teachers (including myself) saw her at a soccer game earlier that day. It was very eerie and it has been a terrible tragedy. Her mother is absolutely beside herself with grief. It is heart-wrenching to hear her mother cry. I did not know Kristy, but many of my students did. At least three of the girls in my music class were very close friends with her. Following her death, there have been other incidents that have occurred due to distress.

There is also another one of my students (that we will just call "C" for now) who lost her grandmother last night. She was completely devastated. Her whole family was outside sobbing and holding each other (they live next door to our house). I am sharing this with all of you so that you can lift up Gloria (and my student "Z"), Kristy and her mother/family and friends, and C and her grandmother in your prayers.

Over the past week or so, I have realized that though it is difficult to be thrown into this suffering with the community, I find love/compassion among the sorrow because I am able to minister to my students even in the pain. All I could think over the weekend after I attended the funeral for Kristy was: I will walk through the darkness with you (my students), holding on to you. I will hold you up, I am not afraid to walk through the pain with you. But we will not walk alone. We are with Mary and Jesus and we are not just walking into an endless darkness. We are walking toward a light and I will keep walking with you until we get there.

I realize one of the greatest beauties of my faith is its depth and its understanding of the suffering of humanity. I have recently felt a great presence of Christ and His mother as they walked through Calvary. I could picture the "Pieta" (Mary holding Christ after He has been taken down from the Cross) as Kristy's mother cried out in the cemetery. In Christianity, we do not run from suffering. Our God does not tell us to buck up and get over it. We are not to drown ourselves in gold and wine and sex in order to numb us to the pain of death and loss and ache. Neither is he apathetic or bubblegum sweet "everything's fine, she's not on earth anymore". Yes, we do find joy in the hope of Heaven, however, Jesus understands the great pain in loss. When Lazarus died Jesus did not say "Mary and Martha, don't worry, he's in heaven." Instead scripture tells us:

"Jesus saw her [Mary] weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched and he was deeply moved. 'Where have you laid him?' he asked.
'Come and see, Lord,' they replied. Jesus wept." (John 11:33-35)

Christ descends into the pain with us. So much so, that He dies, willing to experience the suffering of death and the penalty for sin and evil. His mother is not shielded from this sorrow, but instead stands by Him with a love more loyal and fierce than we can ever imagine, beneath the foot of the cross as she watches her precious Son die. Yet, Christ does not leave us here at the tomb. Ultimately, He does bring us to the light. He does conquer the ugliness of death. He puts evil to shame. He rises from the dead and brings us hope. So Christ holds us in the pain, but He always leads us to hope. Praise God for His beautiful and "scandalous" love (as Dr. Martin says). By "scandalous" Dr. Martin means that God did not wish to come among us in full majesty and cleanliness, devoid of the dirt and grime of life. God choose instead to take on human form and trudge through the struggles and joys of life on earth so to give us a Way to follow. What other God do you know that loves this way?!

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Something that is very interesting about the culture here in Belize is that they mourn with great intensity. It is a stark contrast to the United States' method of privacy and dare I say supression/repression. It can be rather disturbing at first, because the women will openly weep, scream, and sob. However, I quickly realized that this is an extremely healthy way to mourn. They get it all out, they are free to express their sorrow. And they are not alone. The entire community in Benque knows and many come to support each other when someone dies. They keep vigil all night and into the morning. They have the wake at their house and the whole community is invited, many coming throughout the night.

A teacher came up to me and expressed her concern for the teenagers here in Benque. She said they that are going through a lot right now and unfortunately, many are looking in the wrong places to escape their struggles. Please pray for the youth of Benque also. We are going to fast tomorrow (Thursday) if you are interested. Being able to unite in this way is very powerful. If not tomorrow, any fast (large or small) would be very appreciated.

God Bless you.

Thick Glasses Equal Teacher Power

School has begun and I've lost my voice. I have thoroughly enjoyed this week of school, although I am still getting adjusted to the pace. I had a very relaxing Christmas break and it is exciting and tiring to be back the busy flow here.

My music classes this week went very well overall. I am so grateful and happy about this. I am starting to feel more like a music teacher and less like "I'm-scrambling-to-adjust-to-your-culture-and-to-teaching-you-how-to-sing". I am ready to do that extra act that will help me become more organized and a more efficient teacher. Of course, I still have a lot to learn but I can already see some good changes. Both the girls and boys classes sounded wonderful today. I was so proud as they were belting out those hymns!

I brought my stylish, thick, black glasses down to Belize with me this time. I was hoping they would help me look more intimidating and I do feel "in control" when I'm dressed more professionally. The thing is, the kids like the glasses more than I wanted them to. I was hoping I would scare them, but instead I have them raising their hands over and over going "Miss, where are your glasses today? Miss, where are your glasses today?" "Miss! I like your shades." Oh well. I tried. At least I feel more like a teacher in my black slacks, heels (yes, I brought heels! Fun!), and button down.

I can also say that I am falling in love with the students here. It was happening a little last semester but I've definitely noticed it this semester. It is difficult to explain in words or over a blog. I can say that I am grateful for having the opportunity to get to know these kids and spend time with them. They really are beautiful and full of energy and life.

That's all for now. TGIF ;)

Oops.

I forgot my computer charger at home.